Mathematically speaking most addicts are beyond redemption [including myself]. If I had to narrow it down, the percentage of people that will never relapse would be five percent or less. Most addicts relapse because they operate in secrets and shadows. The secretiveness can be summed up in their actions—the inability to take full responsibility for their choices in life—and the shadows are the building blocks of all addictions [shadows expels light by encompassing darkness]. Unbeknownst to the addict who only concern themselves with getting high is oblivious to the cunning ways of the adversary. They are unaware of the dark sinister side of addictions. Once the adversary has full control of the addict then and only then his plan is revealed, by this time the addicts are so intrench in their habits the only relationship they want to maintain is with their drug of choice [everything else is a former shadows by comparison]. I must confess, this is the most painstaking project I have ever had to endure, cumbersome to say the least, every key stroke reveals a darker side of my addiction. How much of myself should I pour into this composition? How much labor should I compress between the pages of this manuscript? Should I labor to the point that I may soon be discovered? Should I yield before I breach the threshold of transparency? All these questions are terrifying to an addict because we operate in/and/out of shadows [to be known without truly being known]. I have wrestled long and hard with this resolution of transparency and the more I think about coming forthright the greater the fear of being discovered. Transparency for addicts is extremely hard, we spent most of our lives operating in/and/out of shadows [to be known without truly being known]. Throughout the years we have mastered the art of not being known, not even by the ones that love us the most. Still, not all alcoholics are alike. Sure-enough, but if you utterly understood the irrational mind of addicts and alcoholics you would know we all share a common tread, the silk we weave is embroidered in the history of addictions. The very fabric itself is knitted in shadows. The multicolored tapestry woven by hand is adorn by darkness. Sinister isn’t it!? As addicts we live and breathe in/and/out of shadows like revolving doors. Unless you walked in our shoes, you will never understand the gravitas of what I am saying.